I’m doing it. I am throwing out the rules. I’m revolting against everything I have been taught for the past 34 1/2 years about how to live my life. Everything is going out the window. What I’ve been told to think, need, want, provide…. gone. What I should eat, wear, do, say…. gone. I’m over it. I’ve always been the kid that questions things and today I’m choosing to listen to her – forever. I don’t want to be told how to act any longer, I want to re-learn all of these things for myself. I want to dig deep into my body and truly listen to my desires and be loyal to them. I don’t want to follow someone else’s rules. I want to make my own. I believe that my body knows what it needs to be happy and healthy. I believe that I hold the power to discover those needs. I believe that I have the courage it will take to listen to her and not everyone else.
Woah….can you picture me stomping my feet while I scream that? Curls bouncing all over the place and likely tears streaming down my face… I can see it, but that’s not what has happened. I’ve listened to a couple of really amazing lectures in my studies over the last few days is what has primarily happened. But like I said, I’ve always been the question kid, so I think the lectures were really just more empowering than earth shattering. I’ve always believed in the power of my brain. I’ve always questioned the quick fixes, diets, fads, and ultimately the need to fit in. I don’t fit in and I never have and honestly, I never want to. The struggle between our intuitive mind and what we are told by the government, schools, media, parents and peers as we grow older is insane. It’s really not a wonder (and I am so grateful) that we are beginning to awaken to the conundrum we are in as humans in this society. It’s almost like we’ve been in a deep sleep, or a (sugar-induced) coma. We don’t know how to feel good about life – how to have healthy relationships with friends, lovers, family, money, food, the earth, ourselves. Why?? It’s different for everyone, the specific reasons, but usually they stem from fear and self doubt. Our brains are wired for survival, vigilance and pessimism, it takes work to see the positive and beautiful things in life. Something along the lines of our brains are like teflon for positive thoughts and velcro for negativity. How sad!! We have all learned to deprive, restrict, push, shame our way to health. To the optimum figure, position, relationship that simply doesn’t exist – or wait, it exists, but it may not be what you have been told it is. We’ve been led to believe that paying attention to ourselves is to not be productive. And that productivity equals success, and success is what we all want. That unless we are hard on ourselves, we won’t get anywhere. To take care of ourselves first and foremost is selfish and self indulgent. That it takes hard work to have fun….
Sorry Pops, I’ve lived by that saying for as long as I can remember and now I disagree with it. Well…. I disagree with the way I’ve let it shape my life. I believe it is important to recognize the tasks of having an iced cooler, a change of clothes, extra beer, extra food, extra layers, extra gas and a good plan when going out to have fun as work that needs to be done. I also believe that most of life should be fun. I want to stop thinking of it all as hard. I want to learn to enjoy every little bit; to live my life with joy, kindness, love and acceptance. I believe that by treating myself with love and acceptance my body will guide me towards health and happiness in life. I believe that it’s been programed to do this all along and I’ve been duped into thinking otherwise. I’ve been led to believe that I’m too fat, I’m not good enough, don’t have enough, not strong enough, not pretty enough. I’ve been told I’m depressed, anxious, too emotional, incapable and now debilitated with a disease. I’m sick alright… sick of all the bullshit I’ve been told about myself by people who are NOT me.
So today I’ve decided to say goodbye to the rules. All of the ways I’ve learned over the years to hate, push, restrict, deprive and shame myself, I’m not going to listen to anymore. It won’t be easy. It’s like that breakup that lasts a couple weeks…. or months…. or years…. These rules are stubborn, and have been engrained in my persona for a really long time. My entire life, in fact, and from every angle. What is important about today’s declaration is that I am now on the journey of living life through love and acceptance. I am choosing to see joy instead of fear and kindness instead of failure. I am beginning with myself and I know my kindness will spill out into my life and amazing things will happen around me. Feel free to join me on this quest to live a happier healthier life. All it takes is a shift in the mind – choose love and start with yourself. Here I am, giving you permission. You don’t need anything else, it’s free. You’re welcome.
So that’s what has finally spurred a post out of me I guess. I’m rebelling against the rule that tells me being behind in my studies means everything else I spend time on is a waste. Not true, there is so much more to being successful in school than keeping up on the lectures. The entire program is about learning to take care of myself so that I can in turn help other people take care of themselves. I am inspired by my studies and I want to make an impact on the health of the world. It all starts here for me and I really enjoy this, so thank you for listening, engaging and being true to yourself. This is the beginning of something big… the most amazing life we can imagine!
In peace and love,